Matier and Lucia
by Eilanne
Summary: Was Matier really lying when she withheld information from Lucia for so very long? Find out why she lied and why it was necessary. Please read and review! It's slightly crack. Note the genre.
1. Chapter 1

authors notes--

this piece was helped by "Ugly Pink Machines" _If I had written the script for Dmc2_"

Go check it out. its really funny and almost accurate in caricature.

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Lucia cried. Again.

"KEEEL ME, en Eberting vill be OVah wit!" cried Lucia, with tears running down her tanned cheeks. "KEEEL ME" she cried again and this time, with more feeling. She grabbed the sleeve of the Devil Hunter who was walking away.

"Lucia, you need to go back home and be with Matier." He shook his head, debating whether or not he should just ignore her. It was hard not to when the red haired female clung on to his new devil hunter suit. The last one was put away due to the extensive damage from the many adventures he took.

"But…but" she sputtered, "I vas krea-ated by ARIUS!"

"Oh give it up, Lucia. I'm not here to play psychiatrist to you. Matier should be the one to console you. Right now, I've got demons to kill." He felt claustrophobic around her whining. Though he had already told her that _Devils Never Cry_, it should be enough. But the repercussions of seeing so many clones like herself must have proved hard pressed.

"But…but, Dante, I am not de only one! _I taught I vas de one_!"

Despite trying to understand her thick and horrible accent, he lifted a silver brow in question, "Eh? This isn't the Matrix, Lucia." And with an exasperated sigh, he ran a gloved hand over his silver hair, "Now let go so I can kick some butt. Go home, Lucia."

She twitched and sniffled, but managed to cling on. Dante pulled away from her grasp and shook his head again, muttering about overemotional females.

"KEEELL MEE!" she cried again, but at least her cries were fading as Dante went out of her sight at a break neck run.

When Lucia was alone, she wished that her clones were nice girls so she'd have a ton of sisters. Though, if she encountered any of them, they'd likely go into a series of attacks and that she can't bear right now.

Matier came from behind her, the small woman slouched and the wrinkled face looked up at her charge, "Ware iz de zon of Spahhda?"

Startling Lucia, the red haired voluptuous protector of vie de marii held up her cutlasses, "Matier! Matier!"

"Yes yes, my child, I am her." The old woman sighed, hoping to alleviate the fears of the younger one.

"How can I bear de taught dat I, I am not de girl I taught I vas!" Lucia knelt down to the old woman to get eye level with her, "Matier, vvhy did you not tell me? Is dare anymore lies?"

"Child, child, I kept dis sekrit van you, because I knew dat you vould not concentrate on your tasks." Matier held a brown, wrinkled, small hand and placed it over Lucia's bright head. "Look how you are now. You are an emotional vreck." Then considered this again, "Did you vant to be killed bevore you found out?"

She shook her head, "No! No! I vant to livvee so dat I can fight de horrible demons that cum to our village! I vant to protect eberyone!"

"Dere, dere, child, see wat I mean?" the old woman smacked her lips together, "But now you vant to die! So eagerly!"

"Only because I vould turn into a MONSTER!" she yelled so loud that it startled the old woman, sending her back a step or two away.

"Now, Matier, it iz your duty to put me out of mah misery!" she lunged at the older woman, hoping to hold her tight, but Matier, though she was an old woman sidestepped her quickly, making Lucia grab at empty air.

Matier pursed her wrinkled lips together, "Do I have to slap sum sense into you! Stop dat! If you turn into a monster, I will do sumthing about it. But now you have your duties! Now go!"

Lucia cried again and nodded her head, "Yes, but but…"

Matier raised a finger at her, "No butts! Stop dat and get going! Dere is a world of demons coming to our village. Now go!"

Lucia nodded, then ran off, her whimpers still could be heard as she skipped and hopped on top of those zig zagging terra cotta roof tops. Leaving Matier with an expression of exasperation, she whispered to herself, "I must now go and make an army of food voor de villagers. Perhaps some baguettes again with a side of cheese."

With that, she turned her back with her two brown wrinkled hands clasped together at the back and you can hear the smacking of her lips.


	2. The realization of her Chi!

_authors notes: more lucia and matier fun! i'm trying to stay in character while writing this in humour._

_I hope you like and review. i know a lot of authors have their friends to help review, but hopefully you guys will like this enough to laugh or smile._

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Lucia jumped over the zig zagging roofs and lithe as her demonic powers allowed her, was able to fly boundless without wings for awhile until the moment she could tap into demonic powers. Her chicken devil trigger always bothered her. This was because her feet turned into bird's feet. Otherwise, she liked the fact that she could have white wings. At that moment, she spotted two large goats coming her way.

"Zay iz cuming dis way! I must keel de intruders of diz village and purge dem away!"

She said that with such glee that when she spied upon the demon hunter named Dante, she was immediately upset!

"Zon of Spaahhda!" she screamed. Dante didn't pay much attention to her due to the fact that he had his hands full. Drawing out Ebony and Ivory simultaneously allowed him to shoot continuously at the advancing goat demons. They looked rather horny with their tongues hanging out of their mouths. When he did not pay attention to her, she immediately took the advantage and charged the second demon goat, her knives soaking inside the hairy demons body. Their mouths opened up before they died, moaning and groaning loudly.

They were back to back, the demon hunter and the protector of Vie du Marri. The red haired defect demon cried, "Zon of Spahhda, why are you in dis area? I taught dat you vould go to da other zide of de village. Dere are monsters eberywhere!"

"Yes, Lucia I know this." Dante replied casually. He placed his guns back into his pockets and looked at the red haired defect, "Are you alright now?"

They felt around them the opening of the demon portal and momentarily stood back. Lucia looked from the demon hunter to the portal then nodded her red haired head, sniffing out loud.

"Such concern, demon hunter, I am glad you are not making zo much fun of me."

She began to sniffle again, while Dante refrained the urge to roll his eyes and instead sighed aloud, "Lucia, how many times do I have to tell you that Devils Never cry?"

She sputtered, tears fell from her emerald eyes down her tanned cheeks, "But but but!" she screamed, "Matier never told me!"

Dante started to walk away. He really didn't have time to play psychiatrist to her. He had hoped Matier had stayed her crying and there were demons at the portal. Again. Lucia cried, "Wait! Ware are you going?"

"You see that portal that just opened up?" He paused, just slightly to say this, "I'm on my way over there. To stop the evil from coming to your village."

"But! But! I am expendable! I am de the one dat should go! I am de one that should die!"

"Obviously, no. It's my job, remember? Matier hired me."

He walked away, hoping she didn't interrupt him with anymore "buts", and was thankful that she just remained there standing.

When she saw that Dante had entered the portal she felt another presence behind her. A voice called out and she knew immediately who it was!

"Chi!"

It was her enemy, Arius!

"ARIUS!" She screamed, "You are de one responsible voor Kre-ating meh! But Dante told meh dat DEVILS NEVER CRY!"

She cried louder, her tears streamed down her cheeks to prove to the distorted Arius that she was not a devil like him. That devils do shed tears! Arius now deformed spat on the ground, his black mustache almost covered his mouth.

"You believe dat man? He iz only trying to tell you something you want to hear!" He started to run at Lucia, the long snake tubes that came out of his body snapped at the chicken devil triggering female.

"I know now dat I am NOT a devil! I am proud dat I am a defect! Yes! I am proud!" she cried louder, her tears kept coming. The snake tubes that hit her hurt her a lot and she slammed back into the crumbling walls around her. "OW! Dat hurt very much, Arius! You should not treat a woman so bad! Abuser of all women! Pervert!"

She threw her knives at him, so fast that they looked like tiny pebbles and made damage at the deformed Arius.

"You will pay for making my cloned zizters not defects! You will pay for dat, Arius!"

They went into a long battle, the creator and the defect female demon. They circled each other several times and in the end, Arius turned into this huge ugly glob that made Lucia take a few more healing orbs to get strength back. But it was Lucia's determination and Dante's words that Devils NEVER CRY! That made her keep going.

When she killed off Arius, she went back to her village to find Matier. "MATIER! MATIER!"

"Yes, child I am here." The little brown woman said in the kitchen, she was making baguettes and cutting cheese, "Did you see the Zon of Spaahdaa again?"

"Yes, he helped me and you too, Matier!" She ran to Matier and hugged the little old woman. Took her up in the air and threw her up in the air.

Matier screamed aloud, "Mah goodness, child! Let me down!"

"Matier, I love you so much, my mother! You gave me de reason to keep living! Dat I am not useless! I am so sorry voor not believing in mah self."

Matier chuckled, "Dat is good, child, good. Now, let us get the villagers around the feasting table so you can have some dancing with dem to celebrate!"

"I vould love dat very much, Matier. I am very hungry, so hungry I can eat a horse! And oh, no chickens please! It iz like eating my own flesh!"

Matier chuckled again, "Oh child child, how good dat you have cum to your senses. Now ware iz de Zon of Spaahhda so we can invite him to de feast to meet de other villagers!"

Lucia made an 'O' face, "He went to the demon portal, Matier! Oh and he gave me dis!" She handed Matier, her mother the coin.

Matier squinted her eyes, "I zee. It is Spahhhda's old coin. Yes, you must wait for the demon hunter to come back home when he is done from killing the demons dat try to get to the human world."

"Yes, Matier! I will!"

She hugged the old woman and they both kissed each others cheek. Matier sniffled, "Ah it iz good dat you know every thing now, my child. After the feast, you will be able to take one of the village boys to visit Zon of Spahhda's home. He will need de coin back."

"Matier, we should pay him more dan de coin! How about all de coins from our bank?"

"Good idea, my child. We shall have to pay him with the Vie du Marli coins. As payment for services done as he helped us purge de village of Arius and his secretaries."

Just then, the mention of secretaries made Lucia cry.

"Oh dear." Matier shook her head, "Dere iz nothing to be done, Lucia, your sisters the Chi are not ever going to be defects like you."

"I know, Matier, I know, but ah only wish to have sisters!"

Suddenly the sound of lightning and thunder surrounded the entire village. Matier's round eyes were big as saucers, "Oh my! The Zon of Spaahhda should be kicking some ass! I am so proud of hem! Now stop dat crying for now. You will have your sisters okay? They will not look like you, but fear not, my child. You will meet your sisters at the Devil Never Cries business."

At this news, Lucia's face lit up, "I will? I will have zizters!"

"One or two," Matier smiled at her daughter, "Now, get going and tell the village boys to come and get their baguettes and cheese. I'm almost done!"

Lucia beamed, her brown face lit up, "Yes, mother!"

The sun shined on the village of Vie Du Marli that day. You could see the figure of a red haired demon woman jumping up and down the rooftops in a happy dance. Her eyes shimmered with happy tears as the sun played with those human tears.


	3. The feasting at the Vie du Marli

_Authors notes: thank you for the few reviews, they encourage me to keep going! I love writing about **all** the devil may cry characters. I can take any requests, if you like on this story or any of the stories on my list._

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Lucia hopped along those zig zagging roof tops and spotted another enemy. "Ah cannot believe it! Dere are zo many of dem in dis village! En Matier iz done with making all de baguettes and cutting up cheese!" the thought of those fresh, steamy rolls of bread and mouth watering, melted cheese made her even hungrier. It made her so angry that these residual enemies kept popping up all over the village when her stomach was growling for food. She was now angrier at Arius for creating her to like food! But then, as tears fell from her emerald eyes, she was glad again.

"Prepare to DIE! Imbecile!" Lucia screamed her loud war cry, "HA HO HE! HA HO HE!" The angsty female red haired defect demon did her trademark battle cry, screaming them in the air whilst tears, human tears sprinkled all over the Vie du Marli cobble stones. "HA HO HE! HA HO HE!" With a swish of her voluptuous body, she swung her abundant hip over to one side whilst she with every fiber of her created being hit the offending enemy, "HA!" Her cutlass on her right hand cut through, then with another swish to the left, "HO!" The enemy crumbled in pieces, but Lucia still had her last battle cry to do even as the enemy fell in heaps on the floor, "HE!"

She swung her cutlasses back into her side pockets, her red hair swung over to one side as the wind tried to capture the hairstyle over to reveal her other missing emerald eye. "Oh no! De wind iz too strong, Ah know dat I shall have to get stickier hairspray to contain mah red hair in its place!"

She spotted the place where she wanted to go. There was a secret panel in one of the hidden entrances near the train station and Lucia gave a secret knock. It was to rap three times and do her battle cry, "HA HO HE!"

The door miraculously opened up for her. Two village men were at the entrance, their manly brown faces were happy to see her, "LUCIA! Hurry, get inside!"

Lucia shook her head, "Do not worry. Matier has finally finished up cooking all de baguettes and cutting cheese. Ah have taken care of de demons dat cum to our village! De demon hunter, de zon of Spaahda went through the demon portal to keel the demons dat cum here!"

The men looked at each other and nodded, "Dat iz good news, Lucia. We are zo hungry! Den it iz safe to cum out now?"

"OF COURSE!" Lucia screamed happily and she started crying. The men were confused at first and didn't know what to do. "Lucia? Are you alright?"

Her body shook from the tremors of her emotions, "Do you zee! Ah have human tears! Ah am worthy to die like a human now! WORTHY! Ah can be a human!"

One of the men approached her and nodded, "Dat iz good, Lucia. We are zo proud of you! Now let uz go and have our feast."

When nightfall came, Matier became a little worried. "Ware iz de Zon of Spaahhda? I know he had kicked sum demon booty when de portal opened, so he must be hungrier dan any of you!" She looked around the camp fire, where the villagers, if not all of them gathered around the blazing orange fire. They were chewing on the fresh baked baguettes and cutting up cheese from the wooden board.

Lucia had her mouth full, was happily eating and her emerald eye that was showing was very wide, "Maybe he went back to de Devil Never Cries businezz? Ah promised to take de coin and give it back. It iz only proper!"

Matier had her brown arms behind her back as she walked to and fro around the camp fire, "Lucia, do not talk with your mouth full."

Lucia nodded, "Sorry, my mother," then realized she was still talking and clamped a slender brown hand over her mouth. "OPS!"

They all began to laugh around the campfire making jokes all through the night. One of the villagers addressed Lucia jokingly, "Lucia, we heard you were so hungry you would eat a horse!"

She giggled, "Yes, but I don't really mean it! I like those animals very much and to eat one would be very bad."

"That's not true, Lucia, you can have enjoyment in any type of meat when they are dead." The villager countered back.

"I rezent dat!" The red haired defect demons screamed back, "I have powers dat Arius, dat EVEEL Krea-tor gave me to make me into a chicken devil! Does dat mean I vant to eat chickens!"

Matier brought her small, wrinkled brown hands in front of her, her palms out, "Calm down, Lucia. No one will make you eat chickens! Mah goodness, you are extremely emotional in eberyting you do. You must balance these emotions now dat you are considered a human from those human tears."

"If I can use these powers for good, then I am happy to die like a human!" she started to cry, tears fell from the green eye. "These human tears, they are zo wonderful!" They fell like droplets down the cobbled stone beneath her, her food forgotten as everyone around became silent from the defected demoness's raw emotions.

The old little woman approached her, "Dere, dere, my child, now dat you have had your fill. Go now and visit de Zon of Spahhhda's place of business. DEVILS NEVER CRIES!"

One of the male villagers piped up, "That's a weird, stupid name, but it's appropriate for Lucia, being dat she is a demon."

Lucia's emerald eye was huge with anger, "AH AM NOT A DEMON! AH AM A HUMAN!"

Matier hushed up the other man, "Yes, Lucia is not considered like those horrible demons that plague our village, she is not like her krea-tor Arius, who is a demon! He was once an international, powerful sorcerer who has turned demon and now Lucia has proven dat she iz not like her zizters de CHI!"

"AH AM NOT CHI!" Lucia cried, "I am Lucia, de name you gave me, Matier. My mother" She reached out and hugged the old woman, "I love mah name zo much! It iz beautiful! It makes me unique!"

The male villager felt embarrassed he said anything and brought his head down. But he mumbled with a wicked smile, "Ah would have liked to zee all those secretaries. Dat vould have been interesting seeing all those cloned Lucias!"

Lucia looked at him and giggled, "Ah think ah am prettier dan dem, even though they all look like meh, because ah have human tears!"

The old woman hugged her back, "Yes, my child, you are special. Now, it iz time voor you to go to de Devils Never Cries!"


End file.
